It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
