I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
