There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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