so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
me + whiskey = a bad person
Why can't burritos get me drunk
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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