Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
My ATM looks so different sober.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
