Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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