The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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