You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
