I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
