just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
