how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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