My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
