she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
