Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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