You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
