but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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