I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
