so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
