Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
