didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
my sisters under your porch take her home
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Randomize
