I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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