You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
