I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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