i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
ttyl tear gas
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
