I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
