If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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