so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I need moral support for this bender
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
