Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize