I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
