i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
