Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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