ya dads aren't the best wingmen
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
