Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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