You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
