so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
