thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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