I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
