Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
