yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
