I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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