So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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