I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
