I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
