All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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