On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Randomize