you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
dude. I can hear the air.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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