the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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