I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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