My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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