after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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