my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
