my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
