The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
