I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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