i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
