4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
