Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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