i jhust puked up my retainher.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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