Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
