Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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