Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
