He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
