I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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