apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
