I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
