Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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