yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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