get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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