My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
