The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
